One bad idea deserves another.

I'm sorry about yesterday. I simply shouldn't have started another 7 in 7 without a computer. These things happen. I'd say it will never occur again, but Thursday is coming up. and Friday... and another Saturday.

We'll see.

Anyway, this post is by request from a good friend named Fox. I schooled this kid in basketball some three or four weeks ago and have felt sorry ever since. I had zero business taking his lunch money, but when the H is O, I can't let go. You know.

So, this is for him. He asked me why I don't go to local newspapers, like Providence Journal and NY Times and ask if I could drop a column in weekly on our local pitch league at Parenti's in Smithfield, RI. I told him the idea is hot and has never been done before. I also let him know I'd take this idea as far as it could go.

I drove home and this is literally as far as it'll go.

Justin Townsend
www.what-townie-learned.blogspot.com Columnist

SMITHFIELD - "Whatever happened to getting cards, you slut?"

At least twelve people said that phrase and more Monday night at Parenti's Restaurant in the first round of pitch playoffs, looking for cards like a midget trying to find the stage at a U2 concert.

The cards never responded, instead giving the desperate a measely ace dry and five low cards the next hard. After the game, seven of the twelve left in disgust adding: "I need a smoke."

Another grim statement, "It just isn't meant to be tonight," was said by almost every team except team 24, who could be seen gazing into each others' eyes knowing full-well tonight was meant to be. Later, the two could be seen in a grey 96 Toyota fogging up the windows, giving one another jacks of all suits.

The lack of cards gave an overall feeling of hopelessness in the first week of playoffs, scheduled for three weeks, but could extend if necessary, or depending on if the owner loses in the first two weeks.

"We'll see how it goes," Dennis's mustache said. "You win some, you lose some. If you lose, we advance. If we lose, we play best of seven. If after that we lose, best of nine. We'll see how the cards fall."

The real upset came later in the night when team 33 overcame a fourteen point deficit to move into the second round of the playoffs. Team 33 team captain and league veteran, Brandon Biron, could be seen constantly wiping sweat from his brow and mouthing the word, "Wow," continuously. Or maybe it was "now." Or maybe said journalist wasn't close enough to tell.

"Early on in the fifth game, I thought to myself, 'What would Jesus do,'" Biron said. "Inevitably, I figured Jesus would bid 4 with Jack dry to make the game go longer. Jesus don't care about time, though, because he's in heaven for eternity. These schmucks have early tee times or some bologne."

His brother came over and hugged him for the first time in his 24 year lifetime, adding drunkenly, "This is the only time in my life I've been proud to call you brother, brother."

The kissed, then hug, then kissed again, then proceeded to eat 20 buffalo wings, three bowls of popcorn and one celery stick each.

Another upset came after Team 21 was taken down in the fifth game to a couple nobody's with no talent. Team 21, who has two titles to claim, was constantly one final bid away from going out, but couldn't seal the deal, as they say in pitch leagues.

"I looked under the table to see if he still had balls," Elliot Darling said of his hack of a teammate. "He won't be my partner next time. I can guarantee you that. I'll let my sister play with me before him."

Of the winning teams, eight were heard saying, "tough luck", and "good game", but later saying to their teammates, "Easy win."

Of those eight, three would go home and watch Friends on TBS.

Four teams failed to show up and forfeit. Sources close to one team said one of the guys' wife was about to give birth. The opposing team sent a statement via text, "What a homo."

Next week in the sweet 16 matchups, four more teams will fail to show up, allowing four more undeserving teams to advance and needlessly drink two more pitchers of Coors Lite at the low cost of five sheckles.