Almost old enough to say, "I told you so."

Am I getting old or what?

Here I am, just two days away from being veinte-seis, and I can't think of getting head-over-heals smashed. I'm losing it, man. I'm friggan losing it.

Let's take it from the top, alright?

Last night, I stayed up, and had people over, to watch Top Chef. I have inside jokes with friends about Top Chef and firmly believe that watching Top Chef and having inside jokes about Top Scallop are true signs of growing old.

You need more proof, right? How about if I told you that during Top Scallop, there was a commercial for The Real Wives of the OC and I wanted to see the episode?

What if I told you that I won't shave unless I absolutely have to?

How about if I told you I'm learning French one word at a time from a retired French teacher at the high school?

What if I told you that when the really old jerks (what? they're too afraid of technology to have a computer) come into Beef Barn and talk about cribbage night, I actually flirt with the idea of joining them. Flirt.

Do you need more proof?

I don't think so.

So, If you ever feel like hanging out with an old geezer like me, I'll be down at the VFW playing bocce or something. Waiting in line to die with everyone else.

Thing I did while bored today:
Looked up words that end with the letter "Z". Yes, I'm playing Scrabble online again folks. Just another sign of old age.

Random stuff I learned while slipping on ice:
1. Cumulus clouds are the best for picturing boobs in. Stratus, the larger ones that bring 8-10 inches of snow, are best for cursing at the top of your lungs.
2. After years, I've finally realized there is no reason why I should write "L7" instead of "L8" when ending a conversation online. At first, it was cheeky, but only because I really didn't know what L8 was referring too. I learned that night what it was, but I never changed my habit.
3. I had a dream Rocco and his Dad made people pay money to talk to them about his coming to the Red Sox.
4. You can't precede anything with "I had a dream" without sounding like Martin Luther King Jr. Even if it's something as rediculous as what I just wrote.
5. Jack Bauer is a pretty bad man.
6. American Idol now has four judges. Three more than it needs. Hang them I say!
7. A modern-day, made-for-tv movie about The Crucible would be great. Imagine Mark McGwire wearing the same clothes Winona Ryder wore as Abigaile Williams.